What I didn’t tell you :
We recieved a letter - last week, or maybe it was the week before. It was from the Conseil Général in response to a letter that my Manboy had written to them.
I’m not big into snail mail, what with licking stamps and forgetting to mail envelopes. Sometimes they spend days weeks on the mantle of my fireplace before I actually get around to sending them. By the time I do finally get around to it, the person destined to recieve the letter inevitably senses my thoughtless procrastination as he/she opens the envelope, edges darkened by old dust, and news that is nearly obselete.
But Manboy sent this letter, and in his cartesian, timely fashion that is, well, so very French, and for my, so Manboy. He sent it the morning after the evening when he descended the stairs, rushing almost, with paper in one hand and a pen in the other. “Tu peut signer ici.”
I traced my hollow signature next to his own, before reading the words written at the top of the page. The were formal, curtly polite, and to the point.
“Tu pense quoi de ce que j’ai écrit?” His eyes lifted, hesitantly. I percieved a moment of fragility as he took the paper back from my own hands, folded it neatly, and placed it in the already prepared and stamped envelope.
I smiled tiredly, I had been waiting for such a question. “It’s nice, ” I said “really, perfect, je n’aurais pas pu faire mieux, merci.” I shut my eyes tightly and looked inside, trying to feel some hint of an emotion, anything.
All I could sense was gray and heaviness. We spent the rest of the evening in simplicity, watching Harolde and Maude and ingesting sinful quantities of green olives, flammekueche and beer. We didn’t again speak of the letter.
Our village boasts a tiny port on the banks of the Rhône. I took Yuki down there today, so that he could chase pigeons and run vicious circles around my feet. The wind was terrible.
It is one of my favorite moments, on a day off from work, when I can be alone with him. The I thought of how much he has added to our own tiny existence, how much things have changed in such a short time.
I contemplated our impending meeting with the woman who is going to begin and follow us through the adoption process. I wondered what she will be like, if her cheeks are round or if her gaze is bitter. I shivered nervously at the thought of our destiny being entrusted to someone whom we have not yet met and did not choose.
I spoke of these things to Yuki. I talked to him as if he could understand me, and I told him of the letter we had recieved in response to our own, that we had been summoned for a meeting that would surely lead to a journey. I told him that we love him and that we will be loyal to the end, and that last week, when we went to see our friends, I was so proud of him, even suprised to see the way he played with children.
I told him that maybe before too long he would play with our own.
Oh, that gave me chills. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed. I’m so excited for you.
And what a good puppy you have (when he’s not tormenting you with teething, that is).
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoI think she’s to close to Yuki to step into this next season
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoAlejna : Thanks. (:
But what I didn’t mention about Yuki’s teething is that he is going through puberty at the same time.
Manboy : get your own blog.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoOh, what a relief that people don’t go teething and puberty at the same time, too. Because that would just be ugly. Raging hormones and an urge to gnaw?
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoWow. This is bitter sweet news Sassy. I’m so happy for the both of you. I was being tortured through half the post wondering if I was going to need a translator!
And your comments are just as enjoyable to read with Manboy participating and all. hehe
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoAlejna : At least Yuki doesn’t get acne to boot. And, er, a teenager isn’t likely to hump your leg.
Alison : Don’t encourage him.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoWell, so, that movie, is something!
And I love the thought of what these words will manifest as…
makes my eyes smile.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoI can’t wait to see where your journey takes you. I know it will be the right place.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoHurrah! fingers crossed and all that–this will surely be one of the truly amazing journeys you two have ever been on. I am smiling for you.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoI think that it’s probably a good thing that Yuki is getting both teething and puberty out of the way before ever he needs to be a responsible member of a “household with children” - not that kids mind a little dog humping their legs as much as squemiish adults do.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoFrida : my thoughts exactly.
Posted 3 months, 3 weeks agoThere is going to be a very lucky petite fille or petit garcon out there soon. Bon voyage.
Posted 3 months, 2 weeks ago