‘How to Make a Baby’ or ‘ICSI?? WTF???’
Set alarm at 5:45pm.
Shower in Betadine. Ew.
Put on the sexy drawers.
Accompany hubby to lab.
Give paperwork and ID’s to secretary.
Rub eyes in wonder (no coffee… grrrr…) as secretary informs you that the biologist and your doctor would like to do ICSI, since last time results were not that great, with only one embryo.
Rub eyes again, say “sure, whatever, oui oui” and sign paperwork.
Accompany hubby to tiny room with paper on a bed.
Go to bathroom. Wash hands. Wash man-parts.
Return to room.
Wipe hands and man parts with moist towelettes.
Show hubby the hawt drawers & recent brazilian wax. Meow.
Close eyes and pretend doing it this way is normal.
Take sterile cup out of paper bag.
Aim. Fire.
Return spermy cup into paper bag.
Return spermy cup papefr bag to secretary.
Go to car, drive to clinic.
Check in. Change into paper gown that shows your butt off.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Ingest nasty liquid that makes you see pink elephants.
Have your bed wheeled down to the operating room.
Tell your RE she looks cute in her scrubs. (It’s the drugs talking, really.)
Up, on the table.
Wooh, the room begins to spin.
OUT.
Wake up, asking “How many?? How many??” to a recovery room filled with nurses who have no idea what you are talking about.
Wait.
Wait.
Get wheeled back up to room.
Wait.
Wait.
Eat something, (hospital food… gross) just to prove to them you don’t need to throw up.
Wait.
Wait.
Pee.
Wait.
Wait.
“Okay, (4:30pm) you can go now.”
Stop by RE’s secretary.
“How many?? How many??”
The telephone rings.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Mme Fancypants, the doctor was able to retrieve a total of 8 eggs.
Scream “We have WON the LOTTERY PEOPLE!!!!!”
Secretary gives blank stare, gently asks you to calm down, explaining that of the 8 eggs, 4 were mature and ’survived’ through the ICSI manipulation and sperm ingection.
4, you tell yourself, that’s wonderful.
That’s double what we had last IVF.
And they’re all mature. All injected.
4 eggs.
Freck, that’s the most you could have hoped for.
Ride home with hubby.
Tell hubby you’re such a good wife that he’s going to cook dinner.
Hubby orders pizza.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
We will know Wednesday if and how many embryos are kicking.
Wohoo! Four is great – hope they will all grow well! (btw, your post cracked me up). Fingers crossed.
WOOOHOOO!!!!! Crossing fingers and anything else I can cross, also sending you some good JUJU!
*HUGS*
Yay! Keeping fingers crossed for all to stick around for the next sequence of “wait…wait…wait…”
That’s wonderful. So good to hear!
I love the way you wrote this post, Sassy! And such great news. YAY!!!!!
Oh wow, I’m so excited for you!! 4 eggs is fantastic!! I can’t wait to read on Wednesday how they turned out. I’m praying you’ll end up with 4 strong embrios!
Crossing my fingers for embabies to grow! Praying for this cycle to be your BFP! Can’t wait for your fertility report… good luck! {HUGS}
Baby making… its an interesting science experiment sometimes! All the best for tomorrow’s report back!
GREAT news-hope Wedsnesday brings even better news.
Loved your post. Fingers crossed for you!
Mme Fancypants, 4 is wonderful news!!! I will be praying for your fert report
This was a brilliant post. You are a funny woman!
Four is a beautiful number. I’m all tingly once more.
WOW! Congrats! Fantastic first fertilization report!!!
Hi
Here from LFCA…
I had ICSI because my eggs were shoddy. I had 10 eggs on one IVF cycle, none fertilized properly, after that I always had ICSI, which meant that at least I got embies!
Here from LFCA – saw your question about ICSI with female-factor infertility. My issue is severe PCOS – we had tons and tons of eggs with our fresh cycle (I got severe OHSS), and my husband tests perfectly. Our RE still did ICSI on each of our eggs (and does on all IVF cases) because fertilization is better. This is obviously a good idea if you have low sperm rate/motility, but it’s good when you don’t have a ton of eggs, too. In our case – even if you do have a ton of eggs, it still increases your odds.
I’m not sure if that explanation helped – please let me know if you have any additional questions!